It's usually around this time of year, when summer is nearly over and fall is
around the corner, that I like to take a close look at the progress of my
recovery. Maybe it's the seemingly endless "back-to-school" sales that
suddenly end, or the return of the yellow school buses with children carrying
lunch boxes that causes me to feel a need to take a look. This is one of those
times of year that some of us find difficult to deal with, and checking where
we stand during rough times is always a good idea, especially if it helps us find
areas in which we can improve. As a possible bonus we may even find areas of
real progress that may boost our awareness of the positive steps we have
made. It usually is difficult to notice the steps we make, particularly early in
recovery, unless we make a concerted effort to notice them.
So the first step should be to look closely at your beliefs concerning what you
will find. If you believe your recovery is going poorly, it probably is or it's
likely not going as well as it could. We tend to see what we believe we will see
and we tend to miss what we believe is not there. Dr. Wayne Dyer's book,
You'll See it When You Believe it, covers this topic very well and I
recommend it along with any of his other books as excellent recovery reading
material. The quality of our recoveries, as well as our lives, is determined by
what we believe.
If you develop an attitude of positive expectation about your recovery you
will begin to see your progress more easily. What you need to do is adopt a
belief that you can find something positive about your recovery no matter how
small the positive may be if you look closely enough. The trick is to convince
yourself that noticing the smallest of positives is worth the trouble. It is
worth the trouble--your life depends on it. Noticing the smallest of positives
can enable you to make a necessary positive mental attitude shift that is
required for good recovery. Having a positive mental attitude is not the same
thing as positive thinking. It doesn't mean that you pretend that everything is
okay when it isnt. Positive mental attitude means that no matter how bad things
are we can at least learn something of value from even the most horrible things
that happen to us.
I'll use an extreme example to make my point. Early in recovery the very best
positive we may be able to come up with is, "well, at least I believe there is
hope that someday I will feel better than I do now." Admittedly, when our
child has died, even this small positive may be difficult to believe, but let's
say you do believe it, or you're willing to believe that you will someday
believe it. As weak as this positive may seem to you it still is strong enough to
begin the process of causing a positive mental attitude shift.
The shift will be small and probably not noticeable to you, but it will
nevertheless occur. With this shift you will be more likely to notice other
positives, for example, you are reading this newsletter and are therefore
obviously taking a positive step to see if this article has some value to you in
your recovery. Even if it didn't, the fact that you are reading it alone is a
positive recovery step if you choose to see it as such.
We often choose to see our small steps as insignificant. This judgment alone is
enough to slow our recoveries to a crawl. Each step no matter how small is
required to complete the journey. The sooner you accept even the smallest
recovery step and celebrate each and every one as it occurs, the sooner you
will benefit to the greatest extent each step offers.
So how do you do this? There are several ways. My favorite is to ask three
questions. Early tomorrow morning, as soon after awaking as you remember,
ask yourself the question, "What can I do today to improve the quality of my
life?" It doesn't matter what you come up with, but be sure you keep it simple
- make sure it's something you can easily do. Tomorrow evening ask yourself,
"How did I do?" Write your answer in a notebook or journal. Then answer the
question, "No matter how small, what positive recovery steps have I taken
today?" Do this everyday for at least ten days. Each day come up with
different answers. At the end of ten days you will know if it is beneficial to
your recovery to continue. If so, by all means do so. If not, you may find it
helpful to do a progress check on your recovery by asking yourself these
questions for a few days every month or so. Give it a try, you'll only know if
it's a positive for you if you do.
Progress Check
By Pat Akery, TCF, Medford, OR
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