Holiday Helps
HOLIDAY TIME! The whole world seems consumed
with tinsel and glitter, but those who grieve are only
aware of the terrible hole in their hearts and in their
lives. Knowing the intense pain of the holiday season,
here are some helpful thoughts other bereaved parents
have shared. Remember, grieving persons have
definite limitations and don’t function at normal
capacity. We must reevaluate priorities and decide
what is really meaningful for us and our families.
We must decide what we can handle comfortably and
let these needs be known
- Whether or not to talk about our child openly
- Whether we can handle the family dinner,
holiday parties, or if we wish someone else to
take over some of these traditional tasks
- Whether we will stay home for the holidays or
choose to “run away” to a totally different
environment
- Don’t be afraid to make changes – it really can
make things less painful:
- Open presents Christmas Eve instead of
Christmas morning
- Have dinner at a different time
- Attend a different church for Christmas Eve service
- Let the children decorate the tree or make cookies
Comfort may come in doing something for others by:
- Giving a gift in memory of their child
- Donating money they would have spent on the
child to charity
- Adopting a needy family for the holidays
- Inviting a guest (foreign student, senior citizen) to
share the festivities
Whether it’s sending cards, baking, putting up a tree,
ask before you decide:
- Have I involved or considered my other children?
- Do I and other family members enjoy doing this?
- Is this a task that can be shared?
How many stockings shall we hang? We may decide
to:
- Put some special thoughts and feelings about our
child on notes and put them in that special
stocking. Family members are free to read them
and it’s a special opportunity for younger children
to express feelings.